New Short Funny Jokes Biography
Source:- Google.com.pksubmitted 5 months ago* by IAmNunuAMA
Haven't seen one of these in a couple months and I loved the last one.
EDIT: Thanks for all these dumb jokes, someone here mentioned another subreddit that has jokes of a similar taste, r/3amjokes, and I just wanted to give it as a heads up for anyone who wanted more stupid ass laughs.
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[–]ChemTechGuy 639 points 5 months ago
A guy walks into a bar and takes a seat. Before he can order a beer, the bowl of pretzels in front of him says "Hey, you're a handsome fellow." The man tries to ignore the bowl of pretzels, and orders a fine Pilsner beer. The bowl of pretzels then says "Ooooh, a pilsner, great choice. You're a smart man." Starting to freak out, the guy says to the bartender "Hey what the hell, this bowl of pretzels keeps saying nice things to me!" Bartender says "Don't worry about it, the pretzels are complimentary."
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[–]rock-it-science 731 points 5 months ago
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
because 7 is a registered 6 offender
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[–]tastybabysoup 2432 points 5 months ago
q: Why does Dr. Pepper come in bottles? a: Because his wife died.
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[–]scrotum_nachos 1587 points 5 months ago
That took a left turn real quick.
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[–]I_Love_ParkwayDrive 254 points 5 months ago
D:
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[–]starmancer 1269 points 5 months ago
What did Zero say to number Eight?
sigh
"Nice belt."
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[–]sommarkatt 1478 points 5 months ago
What did O say to Q?
Hey, put that thing back into your trousers.
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[–]chicmonster 63 points 5 months ago
the sigh made it funnier.
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[–]someguy73 2538 points 5 months ago
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Becuase the "P" is silent.
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[–]echoglow 2781 points 5 months ago
What's red and bad for your teeth?
A brick.
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[–]Tinylesbian 2217 points 5 months ago*
In the 1700's, a common ingredient of toothpaste was crushed brick.
Go to the features section: http://www.ehow.com/about_4588593_history-of-toothpaste.html
Boo-yah
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[–]PlanetMarklar 2716 points 5 months ago
I'm never taking you to a comedy show
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[–]lydocia 317 points 5 months ago
What's green and when you get it stuck between your teeth, you die?
A tractor.
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[–]dontrain1111 302 points 5 months ago
Tractors was actually a common ingredient in floss in the 1700s.
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[–]mrmrchoice 2556 points 5 months ago
What's white and can't climb trees?
A fridge.
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[–]Humidmark 2051 points 5 months ago
My fridge is black.
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[–]Victorhcj 2566 points 5 months ago
That's racist
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[–]RabidMuskrat93 2040 points 5 months ago
That's racist
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[–]987414567412369 749 points 5 months ago
That's black
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[–]Irulehard2 488 points 5 months ago
That's racist
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[–]joelrizner 367 points 5 months ago
That's gay?
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[–]niallnz 331 points 5 months ago
That's homophobic
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[–]joelrizner 308 points 5 months ago
That's black
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[–]sgtenders 294 points 5 months ago
That's racist
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[–]brushies 1265 points 5 months ago
Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second one says, “I’ll have some H2O too.” and then he dies.
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[–]thiney49 289 points 5 months ago
Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says we don't serve your kind here. The helium doesn't react.
A neutrino walks into a bar. The bartender says we don't serve your kind here. The neutrino says 'oh, I'm just passing through'.
A Higgs Boson walks into a church, and the priest yells 'get out!' The Boson replies 'But you can't have mass without me'.
That's probably enough.
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[–]miscmantheman 83 points 5 months ago
A Higgs Boson walks into a church, and the priest yells 'get out!' The Boson replies 'But you can't have mass without me'. The priest retorts 'Actually, we can, because the Higgs mechanism contributes less than 0.1% of an atom's mass. Most of the mass of an atom actually comes from the strong nuclear force.' The Higgs Boson, defeated, exits and knows better than to try that sneaky shit again.
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[–]Sharrakor 224 points 5 months ago
I always like to think the real joke is that a man walked in a bar and ordered water, and that this bar also had hydrogen peroxide on tap.
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[–]wretchedsumo 1682 points 5 months ago
What does a nosy pepper do?
Get jalapeno buisness.
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[–]lambo192 2283 points 5 months ago
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?
A stick
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[–]Zoeyvonne 2336 points 5 months ago
This was my friend Maggie's favorite joke for a while, only she could not tell it. Every time:
What do you call a stick? .... FUCK!
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[–]Hyro0o0 1242 points 5 months ago
People would wonder why she calls a stick that.
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[–]leet_hacksaw 252 points 5 months ago
There is a hunting Boomerang designed without the leading edges.
When used against human combatants, they were designed to hook around the thin aboriginal shields, and strike the opponent from the side.
Brought to you by Straya-Tech.
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[–]MDAtlas 1695 points 5 months ago
Where are otters from?
Otter Space
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[–]IAmNunuAMA[S] 2299 points 5 months ago
2 whales walk into a bar.
First whale says: ooooEEEEEEEEaaaayyyyyuuuuuuaaaaaa eeeeooOOOOYAIIIAIIIEYOOOooooooo
Second whale says: Shut up Steve, you're drunk
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[–]xnerdyxrealistx 645 points 5 months ago
This joke works better when told aloud.
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[–]main_hoon_na 875 points 5 months ago
You've gotta draw out the whale sound for at least fifteen seconds.
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[–]VenomKami 537 points 5 months ago
And make sure everybody within eyeshot is now staring at you by the end of it.
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[–]katarr 308 points 5 months ago
This is the absolute key to this joke. If it's not awkward by the time you're done making whale sounds, you haven't been doing it long enough.
New Short Funny Jokes SMS Funny Jokes In Hindi In English Message In Urdu 2013 In Tamil Hindi Latest For Adults in Telugu In Hindi 140 Words Images
New Short Funny Jokes SMS Funny Jokes In Hindi In English Message In Urdu 2013 In Tamil Hindi Latest For Adults in Telugu In Hindi 140 Words Images
New Short Funny Jokes SMS Funny Jokes In Hindi In English Message In Urdu 2013 In Tamil Hindi Latest For Adults in Telugu In Hindi 140 Words Images
New Short Funny Jokes SMS Funny Jokes In Hindi In English Message In Urdu 2013 In Tamil Hindi Latest For Adults in Telugu In Hindi 140 Words Images
New Short Funny Jokes SMS Funny Jokes In Hindi In English Message In Urdu 2013 In Tamil Hindi Latest For Adults in Telugu In Hindi 140 Words Images
New Short Funny Jokes SMS Funny Jokes In Hindi In English Message In Urdu 2013 In Tamil Hindi Latest For Adults in Telugu In Hindi 140 Words Images
New Short Funny Jokes SMS Funny Jokes In Hindi In English Message In Urdu 2013 In Tamil Hindi Latest For Adults in Telugu In Hindi 140 Words Images
New Short Funny Jokes SMS Funny Jokes In Hindi In English Message In Urdu 2013 In Tamil Hindi Latest For Adults in Telugu In Hindi 140 Words Images
New Short Funny Jokes SMS Funny Jokes In Hindi In English Message In Urdu 2013 In Tamil Hindi Latest For Adults in Telugu In Hindi 140 Words Images
New Short Funny Jokes SMS Funny Jokes In Hindi In English Message In Urdu 2013 In Tamil Hindi Latest For Adults in Telugu In Hindi 140 Words Images
New Short Funny Jokes SMS Funny Jokes In Hindi In English Message In Urdu 2013 In Tamil Hindi Latest For Adults in Telugu In Hindi 140 Words Images
New Short Funny Jokes SMS Funny Jokes In Hindi In English Message In Urdu 2013 In Tamil Hindi Latest For Adults in Telugu In Hindi 140 Words Images
New Short Funny Jokes SMS Funny Jokes In Hindi In English Message In Urdu 2013 In Tamil Hindi Latest For Adults in Telugu In Hindi 140 Words Images
New Short Funny Jokes SMS Funny Jokes In Hindi In English Message In Urdu 2013 In Tamil Hindi Latest For Adults in Telugu In Hindi 140 Words Images
New Short Funny Jokes SMS Funny Jokes In Hindi In English Message In Urdu 2013 In Tamil Hindi Latest For Adults in Telugu In Hindi 140 Words Images
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