Saturday 28 December 2013

Funny Jokes That Are Short SMS Funny Jokes In Hindi In English Message In Urdu 2013 In Tamil Hindi Latest For Adults in Telugu In Hindi 140 Words Images

Funny Jokes That Are Short Biography

Source:- Google.com.pk
Three couples, an elderly couple, a middle aged couple and a young newlywed couple wanted to join a church.

The pastor says, "We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks."

The couples agreed and came back at the end of two weeks.

The pastor goes to the elderly couple and asks, "Were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?" The old man replies, "No problem at all, Pastor." "Congratulations! Welcome to the church!" said the pastor.

The pastor goes to the middle aged couple and asks, "Well, were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?" The man replied, "The first week was not too bad. The second week I had to sleep on the couch for a couple of nights but, yes we made it."

"Congratulations! Welcome to the church," said the pastor.

The pastor then goes to the newlywed couple and asks, "Well, were you able to abstain from sex for two weeks?" "Well Pastor, we were not able to go without sex for the two weeks," the young man replied. "What happened?" inquired the pastor. "My wife was reaching for a can of corn on the top shelf and dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and took advantage of her right there." "You understand of course, this means you will not be welcome in our church," stated the pastor.

"That's OK," said the young man, "We're not welcome at Stop & Shop anymore either."

Death Wish

3 buddies die in a car crash, they go to heaven to an orientation.

They are all asked, "When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning upon you, what would you like to hear them say about you?

The first guy says, "I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man."

The second guy says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher which made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow."

The last guy replies, "I would like to hear them say.....LOOK, HE'S MOVING!!!!!"

An Amish lady is trotting down the road in her horse and buggy when she is pulled over by a cop. Ma'am, I'm not going to ticket you, but I do have to issue you a warning. You have a broken reflector on your buggy. Oh, I'll let my husband, Jacob, know as soon as I get home. That's fine. Another thing, ma'am. I don't like the way that one rein loops across the horse's back and around one of his balls. I consider that animal abuse. That's cruelty to animals. Have your husband take care of that right away! Later that day, the lady is home telling her husband about her encounter with the cop. Well, dear, what exactly did he say? He said the reflector is broken. I can fix that in two minutes. What else? I'm not sure, Jacob ... something about the emergency brake...

Fire Engine

A man was walking on the sidewalk and noticed up ahead that a young boy was wearing a red fireman's hat and sitting in a red wagon. It appeared that the wagon was being pulled slowly by a large Labrador Retriever. When the man got closer to the boy, he noticed that he had a rope tied around the dog's testicles, which probably accounted for why the dog was walking so gingerly.

So, the man kindly says,"That's really a nice fire engine you have there...but I'll bet the dog would pull you faster if you tied that rope around his neck."

"Yeah," the boy replied, "but then I wouldn't have a siren!"

Tommy and the Priest

Tommy goes into a confessional box and says, "Bless me father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman."

The Priest says, "Is that you Tommy?"

"Yes father, it is I."

"Who was the woman you were with?"

"I cannot tell you... For I do not wish to sully her reputation."

The priest asks, "Was it Brenda O'Malley?"

"No father." "Was it Fiona MacDonald?"

"No father."

"Was it Ann Brown?"

"No father, I cannot tell you."

The priest says firmly, "I admire your perseverance but you must atone for your sins. Your penance will be five Our Fathers and four Hail Marys."

Tommy goes back to his pew and his buddy Sean slides over and says, "What happened?"

Tommy replies, "Well, I got five Our Fathers, four Hail Marys and three good leads."

The Irishman

An Irishman's been drinking at a pub all night. When he stands up to leave, he falls flat on his face. He tries to stand one more time, but to no avail. Again, he falls flat on his face. He figures he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up. Once outside, he stands up and, sure enough, he falls flat on his face.

The Irishman decides to crawl the four blocks to his home. When he arrives at the door, he stands up and falls flat on his face. He crawls through the door into his bedroom. When he reaches his bed, he tries one more time to stand up. This time, he manages to pull himself upright but he quickly falls right into bed. He is sound asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow.

He awakens the next morning to his wife standing over him, shouting, "So, you've been out drinking again!"

"Why do you say that?" he asks innocently.

"The pub called. You left your wheelchair there again."

That's once

A farmer and his brand new bride were riding home from the chapel in a wagon pulled by a team of horses, when the older horse stumbled. The farmer said, "That's once." A little further along, the poor old horse stumbled again. The farmer said, "That's twice." After a little, while the poor old horse stumbled again. The farmer didn't say anything, but reached under the seat, pulled out a shotgun and shot the horse. His brand new bride raised all kind of hell with him, telling him, "That was an awful thing to do."

The farmer said, "That's once."

.

Bill Gates Humor

Did you hear about the woman who was married to a succession of three Microsoft employees and still died a virgin?

Her first husband was in Training, and kept teaching her how to do it herself.

The second was in Sales, and kept telling her how good it was going to be.

And the third was Tech Support, and kept saying "Don't worry, it'll be up any minute now..."

What do Viagra and Disney World have in common?

You have to wait 1 hour for a two minute ride.

New Secretary

The manager hired a new secretary. She was young, sweet and polite. One day while taking dictation, she noticed his fly was open. While leaving the room, she courteously said, "Oh by the way sir, did you know that your barracks door is open? He did not understand her remark, but later on he happened to look down and saw that his zipper was open. He decided to have some fun with his new employee.

Calling her in, he asked, "By the way Miss Jones, when you saw my barracks door open, did you also see a soldier standing at attention?" The secretary, who was quite witty replied, "Why no sir, all I saw was a little disabled veteran sitting on two duffel bags."

Be Careful of what you wish for ....

Two men were adrift in a life boat following a dramatic escape from a burning freight vessel. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, one of the men stumbled across an old lamp.

Secretly hoping that a Genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of the castaways, a Genie did appear! This particular Genie, however, stated that she could only deliver one wish, not the standard three. Without giving much thought to the matter the man blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into beer!"

Immediately the Genie clapped her hands with a deafening crash, and the entire sea turned to the finest brew ever sampled by mortals. Simultaneously, the Genie vanished to her freedom. Only the gentle lapping of beer on the hull broke the sudden stillness as the the two men considered their circumstances.

The other man looked disgustedly at the one who's wish had been granted. After a long, tension-filled moment, he spoke:
"Nice going! Now we're going to have to pee in the boat!!"

Funny Jokes That Are Short SMS Funny Jokes In Hindi In English Message In Urdu 2013 In Tamil Hindi Latest For Adults in Telugu In Hindi 140 Words Images

Funny Jokes That Are Short SMS Funny Jokes In Hindi In English Message In Urdu 2013 In Tamil Hindi Latest For Adults in Telugu In Hindi 140 Words Images

Funny Jokes That Are Short SMS Funny Jokes In Hindi In English Message In Urdu 2013 In Tamil Hindi Latest For Adults in Telugu In Hindi 140 Words Images

Funny Jokes That Are Short SMS Funny Jokes In Hindi In English Message In Urdu 2013 In Tamil Hindi Latest For Adults in Telugu In Hindi 140 Words Images

Funny Jokes That Are Short SMS Funny Jokes In Hindi In English Message In Urdu 2013 In Tamil Hindi Latest For Adults in Telugu In Hindi 140 Words Images

Funny Jokes That Are Short SMS Funny Jokes In Hindi In English Message In Urdu 2013 In Tamil Hindi Latest For Adults in Telugu In Hindi 140 Words Images

Funny Jokes That Are Short SMS Funny Jokes In Hindi In English Message In Urdu 2013 In Tamil Hindi Latest For Adults in Telugu In Hindi 140 Words Images

Funny Jokes That Are Short SMS Funny Jokes In Hindi In English Message In Urdu 2013 In Tamil Hindi Latest For Adults in Telugu In Hindi 140 Words Images

Funny Jokes That Are Short SMS Funny Jokes In Hindi In English Message In Urdu 2013 In Tamil Hindi Latest For Adults in Telugu In Hindi 140 Words Images

Funny Jokes That Are Short SMS Funny Jokes In Hindi In English Message In Urdu 2013 In Tamil Hindi Latest For Adults in Telugu In Hindi 140 Words Images

Funny Jokes That Are Short SMS Funny Jokes In Hindi In English Message In Urdu 2013 In Tamil Hindi Latest For Adults in Telugu In Hindi 140 Words Images

Funny Jokes That Are Short SMS Funny Jokes In Hindi In English Message In Urdu 2013 In Tamil Hindi Latest For Adults in Telugu In Hindi 140 Words Images

Funny Jokes That Are Short SMS Funny Jokes In Hindi In English Message In Urdu 2013 In Tamil Hindi Latest For Adults in Telugu In Hindi 140 Words Images

Funny Jokes That Are Short SMS Funny Jokes In Hindi In English Message In Urdu 2013 In Tamil Hindi Latest For Adults in Telugu In Hindi 140 Words Images

Funny Jokes That Are Short SMS Funny Jokes In Hindi In English Message In Urdu 2013 In Tamil Hindi Latest For Adults in Telugu In Hindi 140 Words Images

Funny Jokes That Are Short SMS Funny Jokes In Hindi In English Message In Urdu 2013 In Tamil Hindi Latest For Adults in Telugu In Hindi 140 Words Images

Funny Jokes That Are Short SMS Funny Jokes In Hindi In English Message In Urdu 2013 In Tamil Hindi Latest For Adults in Telugu In Hindi 140 Words Images

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